16 posts from 2008

was very awesome. they won thankfully. i went with seth and my family and my sister brought her bf. it was cute, cubs jerseys and all (see facebook) AND we had third row seats which was amazing. i forgot how fun it can be to go to a sporting event.

also... look what I came across the other day....

its finally starting to sink in that im not going to be friends with that sarasota crew again. its such a lonely feeling too. i just now realized it as i was looking at my buddy list and this huge ringling catgeory is intimidating. the only questions id have to ask would be the typical "what are you up to now? do you have a job? hows work?" its just lame. half of these people (kiem vu) would love to just babble their face off about it, the other half embarrassed or angry about the subject since they still have no offers (ahem, me). i dont even bother being 'available' anymore. a lot of my friends here dont even sign on anymore. its making me sad that my days of IMming might be coming do an end. i mean don't get me wrong, i will still be really close with a lot of you guys. its just going to be harder. and that sucks.

im just not happy right now i guess. all of my friends are out of town, the girls anyway. they went to summerfest in chicago and katie has been up there with drew, her aussie friend. some of the boys are still here, but they dont do anything during the week unless one of the girls plans it, and im just not ambitious enough to plan another night-swimming session like back in high school.

basically, the refreshing-summer-out-of-school-aspect of my hometown has worn out. champaign just feels kinda lonely lately. the only people ive seen in the past few days have just been seth, my sister, her friend, jess, and then a select few of my guy friends. also, i just finished reading MIDDLESEX @ Seths (he also wrote Virgin Suicides) which was actually a really good, but also a really weird book. it kind of put me in a sour mood now that i think about it. that and the fact that i was really comfortable but had to come home to stay with my sister since my parents are still gone.

i did talk to my mom today and i found it kinda weird that she was planning on getting a ticket to come home and go to meetings and to my uncles party, but that she wasn't telling my dad? hes a pilot for chrissakes. i think this is another classic case of him being upset that we arent in love with going to the Ozarks as much as he is. oh well. regardless, itll be nice to have her back.

i think im just in a state of not knowing what to do. and the more ive been thinking about it the more ive really been hesitating to try and get a job in chicago. i dont know what i want. its all scaring me. moving far away is sounding good, but i know as soon as i do that.. i'll regret it and miss my friends and family all over again. im going to miss my sister growing up more than she already has, of course she'll be off to college in a couple years anyway. usually im just so good at pinpointing what it is what will make me happy and i do it. either that or, i let fate decide and trust that it will all be good. but now its me CHOOSING and i dont like it for once. argh, i think about this crap way too much, i just need to DO IT.

finally works. thank god.

and now the job search officially begins.
Heres the list of places I plan on checkin out....

If you know EXACTLY what time you were born, I highly suggest this site. This one was mine... just to give you an example:
http://www.astro.com/cgi/atxgen.cgi?btyp=apx&&cid=oeqfiles72gea-u1207362908
and its soooooo accurate. and i did one on me and seth's relationship too. wowza.

UPDATE: Yea I just read this part. Yikes
Uranus square Uranus: On a pivot Mid April 2008 until mid December 2009: The first time this influence occurs it signifies that you are no longer an adolescent and must take your position as an adult. It signifies rebellion against established standards, which is the reason so many young people go through a period of rejecting everything that they have been taught. It is necessary for you to experience your own individuality by asserting it against someone else's. There is nothing wrong in this, and the constant challenges of youth help keep society alive. It also helps you, because you need to be on your own and find your own ways of doing things, unhampered by the ways of the past, which may no longer be appropriate. Even if you do not go through an especially rebellious phase, this will still be a time of intense and rapid change, when you go out into the world and pursue your own goals without the comfort and security of doing what your elders tell you. Doing what you are told may not always have been pleasant, but it did allow you to avoid responsibility, which you will have to take on now.

I just talked to my dad for like five minutes and he kept trying to calm me down about this last month and not tow worry, being all awesome like he is, but really it just got me more hyped up. I can't believe that I haven't hit a single tired spell this whole day when I only had 3.5 hrs of sleep. Craziness.
But yeah, basically, he checked my account and it says that I haven't paid for my Adobe software. So I might have to order it "again" and have to wait another freaking three weeks. I tried calling my bank today to FINALLY get my online checking set up (shame on me) but the lady I was supposed to talk to wasn't in so I had to talk to some idiot instead... so now I have to call back tomorrow or Monday. I just want to get this biz here already so that's one less thing to worry about.
And then on top of that, I have to deal with a hole in the door of the guest baths and I don't know if my roommate really is responsible for it or not. So that's fun.
My dad and I also discussed moving out all my stuff. I think what's going to happen is that Seth and I are just going to pack up the bare necessities and drive home on May 7th, which actually is nice because I'll get to see my friends graduation on the 10th or so. And then my dad is going to take my computer on the plane. And the reset is just going to have to be shipped and flown back later. So then we discussed renting out this place. Jared doesn't want to leave until July because of Illustration Academy, but has no idea what he's doing for a job still. But Javi and Francis might wanna rent for the full year, starting May-ish. And we'd rent it out fully furnished. If that happens we need to buy one more set of bedroom furniture but Lex isn't sure if she's going to take her internship or not. Which is totally cool but overall, I still feel like nothing in my life can just be done. All of these projects are constantly 'in-progress' and 'on-hold'.

Until today...
I was late to my printmaking crit today because of Best of Ringling Submissions (huge pain in the butt, let me tell you. I've never made a poster so quickly in my life) and I walked in on Patrick yelling @ Joe about how his t-shirts suck. Then he proceeds to individually call us all out on how we have been neglecting work in his class. He specifically called me out on "constantly being on the computer or drawing, yet never producing work." Yikes. It couldn't be more true. I felt totally ashamed for a bit, but then really driven. As soon as he was done with his little schpiel I immediately lacquer transferred 8 of 22 cards and laid out my image that I'm planning on silk-screening on the back. It's amazing what a slap on the wrist will do. Amazing what happens when someone won't buy into your bullshit. Thank you Patrick.

So now I'm going to do what's due first and thats printmaking and GIC. It's time for some serious order in this to-do list of mine. Yikes.

yeah my back has been hurting all day. its not sore, it just feels like it needs to pop. and if i sit certain ways, it hurts so bad it literally takes my breath away. i dont think ive had anything hurt like this since i had whiplash. bleh. i took a nap after class and pretty much laid down all day in hopes that it would help but alas, it has not.

the good thing is, bleitz's project is finally over. im done dealing with mythical creature magnets for good. we both agreed that its totally unfinished and needs work but whatever. im leaving and im not turning back.

onto bigger and better things.

i think my next project will be record album art and music posters. i told him i'd do packaging but i guess that kinda counts. whatever. between that, my tarot cards, business presentation, and portfolio class... i think i can handle the rest of school. ive been at a standstill for so long but im feeling motivated enough to crack out of it and really crank out some serious work for the senior show and what not. i mean we only have 43 days left. its about time to get the show on the road.

tomorrow im planning on getting up decently early and doin some homework. then maybe getting some groceries that are only healthy, so im not tempted to be a fatass. then going with alan and mike at 2 to get plexiglass, finally. i talked to patrick about measurements and i think everything is finally settled and ready. hopefully ill have enough done by tomorrow night that i'll feel comfortable going out with aimee before she leaves friday.

also. id like to mention that my family is in mexico right now and im really jealous. and also, they cant come for the senior show and im borderline devastated. i feel like thats the culmination of all of our hard work in the past four years. and they're going to miss it. my cousin shane and his wife kara said they might come. theyre going to be in orlando that weekend for a wedding anyway. it would be awesome if they could cause having them here was pretty fun. we'll see though.

annnnd yeah... im thinking i need to make myself get to sleep so im not a waste tomorrow. goodnight all.

at least it feels like it lately. it really does. i havent left this place at all, unless it was to get my meal of the day. (totally unhealthy) to make things worse, jared hasnt been here, so the whole place feels totally empty and quiet. AND i cant ever get away from the fact that i have work to do since my computer is always glaring at me, even when im in bed asleep. i wish seth was here. or fran or stan or richard. i need company.

i dont even know why im writing this. basically, i'm all rested, and being wide awake in this room is just depressing or maybe just boring at best. i've been doing gic homework though. and by work i mean tracing the world map so that i can put my mythical creatures into place according to where they supposedly lived. lex was just over for a bit and we discussed how it feels entirely unnecessary to be doing projects like this when everyone already has their portfolios printed, except me of course. still though, it does really feel unimportant to the bigger scheme of things.

as for the 51 days left before graduation, uuh... shit. it gets closer and closer and i cant believe it. i did realize one thing though. i really wouldn't be pissed if i didn't get a good job, or even a job at all within these next few weeks before i graduated. i realized that what would piss me off, is if people like kiem vu come to me bragging about the offers they got.

i. dont. care.

im really sick of people being competitive, we're all going different directions anyway. i don't think any of us are going after the exact same jobs in this department anyway. im just kind of tired of life at this point. i need a new outlook, a new mood. usually, i would rearrange my furniture at a point like this, but i have too much due tomorrow to even get myself in that kind of a mess. plus my bed is far too heavy. maybe later.

UPDATE: just found out printmaking crit is this friday. this puts a lovely spin on things. :/

Pownce is it. I think I mostly just like it because its my entire networking live organized online for once. We'll see how long this lasts haha.

and yeah, aside from that, my room is totally clean and it feels awesome. i love having freshly washed sheets, vacuumed carpets, a recently washed wardrobe, and a squeaky clean bathroom. im thinking i want to go out tonight but we're going to leave super early for orlando tomorrow so we can get some shopping in at the Mall of Millenia, which is excellent.

also, i realized how much i really truly loooove candles. ive gone through so many this semester, especially those febreeze ones. its just nice to have that extra element in the house and they smell so damn good too. i think im going to start a collection.

another thing, i love how whenever i IM my dad, he asks what i want. every. single. time. he cant just chat. and in mid-sentence he'll say 'ok love you bye'. he has no interweb manners whatsoever and it cracks me up. man, we live in two totally different generations.

and still my portfolio is not done. its just something i continue to put off. im really not even caring that i havent submitted to a single company either, which is just really bad. i just dont even see the need if i know i dont want to work here, eventhough it does make sense that we should get 'practice'. i dno. im just not feeling it, and its really bad.

on the good side, i went running yesterday and im about to go again a bit later and it already made me feel pretty awesome. i made myself do 50 crunches on that stupid ab machine though, and now i feel like someone was punching me in the stomach while i was sleeping, but its good. its a constant reminder that those muscles exist, and need to be worked on.

also, felicia is selling her bike and i secretly hope ryan doesnt buy it, eventhough i think he is, because the more i think about it the more i want to just have a bike to ride around and run errands and do whatever. it would be sweet. especially now since lex has hers back. i just dont know where i'd keep it. prolly on the porch.

anyway, for today this is what i have planned:
-run
-eat some kind of foods
-groceries
-clean my actual room
-work on my icons for gic
-at least begin my take home test for entrepreneurship (which takes like 2.5 hrs apparently)

tomorrow:
-clean the bathroom
-finish the take home test
-work on printmaking
-run

over break:
-finish this damn portfolio!
-finish icons for gic and make them badass

Suhweet. Lists make me feel so much better.